Over the past two months, I have been sort of in limbo.
No one but my close friends know this, but I have had a condition (?) called S.A.D for quite a few years. It stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder. It took years and years to finally come to the realization that this is actually what it was and I have a young female Doctor to thank for finally figuring it out....as she also suffered from the exact same thing.
Anyway, I digress. So, last year, I had a very mild case of it and I seemed to get through the winter fine. I was able to continue to stamp, do my blog, continue my Card Buffets and get together with friends. AND, we had some of the worst weather we'd had since we moved here.
Then this year, was different. In January it came on like gang busters and it just continued to get worse and worse. I lost all interest in stamping and other things I normally enjoy doing. I quit getting together with friends and just wanted to stay in my house and be alone. But, at the same time, I didn't want to be alone. Doesn't make sense, right?? I didn't even enjoy stamping.
We had unusually nice weather for January/February. Yes, there were some days of rain and or fog and SAD is typically brought on by (at least for me) gloomy days, no sunshine......and being stuck inside. Well, that didn't happen, for most of this winter....and yet it still took over. I had some people say just get out and get with people, you'll feel better...and I know that they were just trying to help and I so appreciate that.....but, getting out with other people doesn't fix it, either.
It took over my life for a couple of months....and I just kept telling myself it would pass. Two months of no stamping, no interest in doing much of anything and I got to thinking, WHAT is the difference between last year and this year? Why was it worse this year when we have had beautiful winter weather and not last year?
Well, to tell you the truth, I am not totally sure of the WHY! I am still trying to figure that one out.
Then, a good friend of mine, got me involved in a long distance Bible Study with her...and each week, my friend Face Times me and I sit in on the discussion.
We are studying the book by Joyce Meyer "Battlefield of the Mind". Well, let me tell you.....what an enlightening study. THAT is what finally broke through to me.
I won't go into detail, but the basic idea is that what we allow our minds to dwell on, has an impact on our thinking and mood. Now, that doesn't mean that SAD is not still the root of the problem, BUT instead of just allowing it to take over my life, I needed to spend more time figuring out how to fight it.
One of the things I had decided before this Bible Study was to get back to a better way of eating. (I'll be sharing more of this journey, too) I had an upcoming appointment with my Dr. for a check up. I met with her after the first of the year and my A1C was not good. She wanted to put me back on meds for my diabetes but I told her I wanted to try losing weight, first and getting on a healthier diet. So, she agreed to let me do it my own way and see how I did by the next time I met with her which was a month later. So, I began my journey on January 16th.
I shared my thoughts with a friend and she offered to be accountable with me and start our weight loss journey together. That has helped immensely!!! I'll share about that another time.
I made a goal to lose 10# before I went back to the Dr. in one month. I ended up losing 11#. She was very happy with my results and she agreed that since my numbers were looking significantly better, that maybe I didn't need to go on any meds, if I continued to eat healthy and lose weight. She did want to put me back on BP meds, though, and I asked her to give me till the next appointment to make that decision. I see her in two months, so I am working hard at getting that stable, too.
I was reading a chapter out of a book (by the same author of the Bible Study) one day, last week, and something the author said made me stop and think.
QUOTE from book: "100 ways to Simplify your Life"
"Regularly reevaluate your commitments"
"We often forfeit many blessings God has stored up for us because we are not willing to reevaluate commitments. Just because you have always done something doesn't mean you should always do it. We can easily get into a rut and find ourselves feeling bored and bland for no reason other than we have done too much of the same thing for too long and we need a change. "
I got to thinking that maybe God is trying to have me go a different direction in my life but I think I have to keep on doing what I always did because I've always done it. Maybe it's time to move on or to change directions. Just because I have done something for what seems like forever, doesn't mean that this is what I should always do. Sometimes, God changes your direction for a reason.
I thought about that for quite a few days. Was God telling me to give up stamping? Give up Stampin' UP?, Give up my blog? No, I didn't think so.
I am not completely sure what I was supposed to learn from that. But, I guess I needed this 'alone' time to see that something needs changing. One thing I do know is that I need to take better care of myself, FIRST and foremost before I worry about anything else.
Another thing that I came to realize, thought all of this is, that I enjoy sharing things with others. I love sharing a book I have read, some place I have visited, a discovery I have made.....a new recipe I have tried and that's when, I realized that my blog had taken a turn to ONLY stamping and what was on sale and I was no longer just 'sharing' and it got harder and harder for me to commit.
So, when I wasn't stamping, I had nothing to share. Plain and simple.
So, starting today, I will be just plain sharing! Whatever that entails. Oh I'll still share cards and ideas....but my blog won't be solely about stamping.
I don't often put myself 'out there' with my feelings or what's going on in my life but I thought I needed to just be open and honest about why I have been not been blogging. And, if I am the ONLY one that reads my blog, that's ok too!!! :-)
I hope you have a FANTASTIC day!!!! Make each day count and remember to be careful what you say to yourself and avoid negative thoughts. They can be so destructive.
HUGS,
Char
